Earlier this month, Integrated Schools gathered in person.
I want to linger on that sentence for just a moment.
In a time when so much organizing happens through screens, comment sections, and group texts, choosing to come together—in our bodies, in the same physical space—felt both countercultural and essential to me. This gathering wasn’t about perfect strategy or polished outcomes. It was about remembering something foundational to our work: integration is not just an idea. It’s a practice. And practices live in bodies.
We came together in Columbus, Ohio, home of one of our more active and enthusiastic chapters, and I was so blown away by how many Integrated Schools folks were able to be present—together. Our Columbus chapter friends showed us a really, really good time. Carrying exhaustion, hope, grief, joy, frustration, and longing, we came as parents, caregivers, organizers, educators, and humans navigating systems that were never designed for collective care. We came because we know that if we want to show up differently in our communities—more present, more courageous, more compassionate—we have to tend to ourselves and one another first.
Healing Ourselves So We Can Show Up for Others
So much of what keeps school segregation intact isn’t just policy—it’s fear. Fear of scarcity. Fear of conflict. Fear of getting it wrong. I see this all the time in my work, and I feel it in my own body, too. These fears don’t live only in our heads; they live in our nervous systems.
Being together in person gave us space to slow down, breathe, laugh, cry, and practice something many of us rarely get to do: be held by community while holding complexity. I’m reminded again and again that when we heal in isolation, we often return to our communities armored. When we heal together, we return resourced.
This theme—of reflection, accountability, and recommitment—also runs through our latest podcast episode, 2025 in Review. In it, Dr. Val and Andrew reflect honestly on what this year has asked of us, what we’re learning about power and parenting, and why this work continues to matter even when it’s uncomfortable. I really hope you’ll listen if you haven’t already—it’s beautiful (and yes, there is karaoke and a cappella involved, friends).
Beyond Selfishness vs. Selflessness
One powerful thread from the gathering came from a training led by Katelyn Jackson, Parent Organizer with Parents United for Public Schools. She invited us into a conversation about moving beyond the false binary of selfishness vs. selflessness—a binary I hear frequently in parenting and school choice conversations.
Instead, she grounded us in the concept of self-interest.
To paraphrase Vivian Ihekoronye of ISAIAH Minnesota, self-interest is not about choosing yourself over others, but understanding that our well-being is bound up together. When families choose integrated public schools, it’s not an act of martyrdom, nor is it a purely individual optimization strategy. It’s a recognition that what is good for our children is inseparable from what is good for the collective.
For me, this framing helps loosen the grip of shame and defensiveness because it shifts the question we’re asking ourselves. Instead of “Am I a good or bad parent?” or “Am I sacrificing too much?” we get to ask something more honest and generative: “What actually aligns with my values, and what kind of world am I helping to build? What is good for my kid AND my community, but neither too much”
When we’re stuck in shame, we tend to either justify our choices at all costs or shut down entirely. But when we root our decisions in shared self-interest, there’s more room for curiosity, accountability, and growth. It becomes possible to make choices that are values-aligned—not perfect, not painless, but deeply intentional.
The Radical Act of Gathering
We also returned again and again to the simple, radical act of gathering itself.
Organizer and writer Garrett Bucks talks about the political importance of “hosting potlucks”—creating spaces where people are welcomed, fed, and invited into relationship rather than performance. Change doesn’t only happen in meetings with agendas; it happens around tables, in shared meals, in moments where people feel they belong.
This resonated deeply alongside a recent Instagram post that named a hard truth many of us feel in our bones: it is genuinely hard—and vulnerable—to gather people right now. And that is precisely why it matters so much. Convening takes energy, courage, and persistence. Without it, we lose the muscle memory of being together.
Tenderly, I was reminded of the earliest moments of Integrated Schools, when our founder, Courtney Mykytyn, and I would sit on the phone imagining how to organize people. Book clubs. Board meetings. Chapter gatherings. She would worry—if she threw a party, would anyone show up?
I am so, so proud that we’ve continued her legacy. Integrated Schools threw a party (our 10th birthday, no less!), and so many of our beloved community members showed up. I know she would have been absolutely thrilled.
Gratitude, Deeply Felt
I am profoundly grateful to the organizers who brought this gathering to life, the participants who showed up with openness and honesty, and the donors who make these spaces possible. Your belief in this work allows us to keep creating rooms where people can practice a different way of being—with themselves and with one another.
An Invitation
If you are longing for belonging.
If you are tired of navigating these questions alone.
If you want to parent, organize, and live in ways that align your values with your actions—
There is a place for you here.
As we close out the year, we’re also in the midst of our end-of-year giving campaign. Your support helps us convene gatherings like this, host hard conversations, support local chapters, and continue building a movement rooted in presence, integrity, and collective care.
If this work has ever helped you feel less alone—or helped you imagine something more possible—I personally invite you to give, share, and stay connected. I know there is something here for you, just like there has always been for me.
Because integration doesn’t happen on its own.
It happens when people choose to show up.
Together.
Xoxo,
Anna
0 Comments